Is it just me, or every time I listen to this song, I get goosebumps. Even after 1,000,000 plays. 

When I was in the UK studying, I felt very adventurous to try every single thing, with food. You are just spoilt with choices. You don't have nasi lemak, mee bandung or char kuew teow everyday but you sure can get chocolate mousse, banoffee pie, Ben & Jerrys, and all sorts of food that you cannot get in Malaysia (at least not as good as it is there).

But have I really ever thought about what actually went inside my throat? Health-wise and most importantly, halal-wise? Honestly, NO.

Of course I was 'trying' to be careful by scrutinizing the ingredients (no pork gelatine or E471 please) and by asking the waiter "Is your shop halal?" and "What do you put in (insert dish name)" but realllyyy... I'd be lying to not admit that there are times when I actually got the "hunches" but I totally ignored them, because I just really WANT to try the food. 

SIGH.

And my intuition voices will go like this;

"Pssst. You sure it's halal although there's HALAL sign in front of the kebab shop??" (in Islam, even if you get this small a hunch, you should have stopped)

"Don't be silly! Why would they lie! Just trust the sign" 

"But you got the hunch after seeing the sign. Go find something else"

"As far as I'm concerned, I still know how to read and it's halal"

Or when I go to Italian/Chinese-mix restaurant and looking through the menu;

"Pssst. Why do you even want to eat here. You know they serve non-halal food! Stop following people!"

"Shut-up! I'm carefully ordering the ones with halal ingredients"

"And what about their pans & pots, and let me not go to their forks & spoons!!"

"I said shut-up pleaseee!"

Have I always been careful with where/what I eat? Yes.

Have I consciously eaten pork or pork gelatine? No.

Have I drank alcohol? No.

Have I eaten at a place that serves pork and alcohol? Yes.

Did I have MANY other choices? Yes.

Now back to first question,

Have I always been careful with where/what I eat? Err..

SIGH.

It was not until my short visit to London the other day that made me ponder about this thoroughly. Me and my dad was at a the Fish & Chips shop in Hertford for take-away. We saw they sell pork sausages, yes, but it was not like we're having them.

Dad: Four fish & chips please. Cod yeah?

Seller: (after looking at me with hijab) Are you a Muslim, sir?

Dad: Yes.. yes.. we are (saying very excitedly as we knew they are Muslims too - maybe can get discount)

Seller: Sorry sir. I cannot sell this to you. You're a Muslim. This fish & chips are not halal.

Dad & Me: @T@&^(*@ (it's fish!)

Seller: Most fish & chips in London, here, anywhere are not halal, sir.

Seller: We fry them using the same oil with pork. We must sell pork to make business, sir.

We thanked him for telling us and was grateful that Allah showed us and stopped us for consuming non-halal fish. But that incident really caught us by surprise. What have we been consuming all these while? Plus, I didn't know that to make a really good croissant, and pastries, they usually put lard in it. Now, do these information available on the menu? The answer is no, and that's where your intuition and hunches come into the picture. Thinking back, I regret the times when I totally ignored my hunches and trusted ONLY what my eyes see. 

SIGH.

And I questioned and cried to God for not listening to me.

And I wondered why it seems so hard to stay steadfast in my spiritual journey.

Resolution 1: To know my Creator, the way I've not known Him before. 

Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything. Muhammad Ali.